The Ultimatum

The following takes place following: The 7‑Kilotonne Solution

The camera opens to President Travers sitting in a large armchair by the fireplace in the Ogle Office, wearing reading glasses and casually flipping through his Playpen magazine. The room is warm and cosy. Travers notices the camera, closes the magazine, sets it on the side table, and removes his glasses. He grins directly at the audience.

Travers: “Good evening, my fellow Waldonians… Yes, it’s me, President Travers, national treasure. Well, folks, it’s been a hell of a couple of weeks, hasn’t it? You’ve been asking, you’ve been wondering—what’s the deal with this whole Waldclaw thing, right? Why isn’t Travers doing anything? I get it. Everybody’s talking. Everybody’s got opinions. People saying a lot of things about me… terrible things…

Now, I admit, I may be more of a lover than a fighter. I don’t want a war! Not like some folks in this place. I’m a born diplomat, perhaps a little too much so for my own good… But the one thing I am not is a COWARD.”

He sits forward, jabbing a finger at the camera.

Travers: “Let me tell you, folks, I’ve been playing nice. I’ve been the reasonable goblin. You know I’m a reasonable goblin. But the Waldclaw insurrection… has gone too far. With the aggressive, out‑of‑turn seizure of the charming lakeside town of Waldron, Warlord Waldo has crossed a line. A terrible line. And to that I say: no more. We cannot sit back and watch any longer.

Now, I know many of you think it’s right not to get involved. You might see Wally as this funny little chaos machine who stands up to the man. He started small—sure—with a little town here, a little coup there, and everybody thought, ‘Ah, it’s just Waldo being Waldo.’ But no, no. He keeps going. And now—now—he thinks he can take the whole country too. My beautiful Waldonia. It’s not going to happen, folks, believe me. Waldo, you have conquered out of turn, and this administration will do whatever it takes to put an end to this aggression.”

Travers looks off‑camera as if remembering something, then turns back with a grin.

Travers: “Of course, a very vocal minority of you have been crying out from the beginning for Travers to do something. ‘Oh Daddy Travers, Daddy Travers! Please save us from the evil goblin!’ Well folks, you’re finally gonna get your wish. I’ve got something real special for you today…”

He stands, strolling across the room with theatrical enthusiasm. Travers reaches his desk, where a large object sits under a cloth. With a flourish, he yanks it away, revealing some kind of bomb.

Travers: “Look at it, folks! Ain't she a a beauty? This right here is the solution. My little present for Mr. Waldo. I call it… The Clean Sweep. A 7‑kiloton clean nuke. Green as can be—just like me, folks. It’s completely clean and green! Not a whiff of fallout. Nothing. That’s right. This is a nuke that doesn’t make your neighbours radioactive. This is a nuke you can feel good about!”

He pats the bomb affectionately, like a beloved pet.

Travers: “Now, what does this little beauty do? I’ll tell you. It’ll wipe out everything within a two‑mile radius and leave a nice, smooth, crispy char where Waldo’s little army used to be. “So here’s what we’re gonna do: Wally, I’m giving you 72 hours. That’s right. Seventy‑two hours to pack up and get the hell out of Waldonia. Otherwise I’m gonna drop this sucker on your little green ass…

You hear me, Wally?? You have been warned. I tried being nice, I tried to be a friend, but you spat it back in my face — and no one makes a fool of Travers. And I've got news for you... You're not the only one who can play the madman...You wanna get nuts? Alright then — let’s get nuts...

Either you leave peacefully, or stay and face the consequences… fire and fury like that of which Waldonia has never seen.”

He walks around his desk and sits again.

Travers: “I understand many Waldonians will feel anxious about what I just said, and you have every right to be. If you live in Waldron or Waldhaven, I would suggest you get out now if you can. This is not a course of action I want to take, but you elected a strong leader who will put an end to tyranny. And this is the way to do it.

Good night, and Ed bless Waldonia.”

The Waldoverse continues in Shock and Awe