Pre-Trial

The following takes place soon after: Bad News

The next day, at the courthouse...

Travers: Your Honour, given not only the high-profile nature of this case and the media circus surrounding it, but also the fact that a violent mob has deprived me of the legal counsel of my choosing, I submit that there is simply no possibility of a fair and impartial trial. There is not a jury in the realm whose judgement has not already been tainted. Therefore, I respectfully request that this trial be declared a mistrial.

Prosecutor: Your Honour, this is absurd. The defendant’s failure to secure alternative legal representation is not grounds for a mistrial. I respectfully request that the trial proceed as scheduled—or, at most, be recessed until the defendant can get his affairs in order.

Travers: Your Honour, this has been a show trial by media—a complete circus. They tried to kill my wife, who was to serve as my legal representative! Surely, a judge as wise and discerning as yourself can see that a fair trial in this realm is simply impossible. To proceed would be a grave injustice—a mockery of this court, which you have upheld with such dignity for so many years. As for this overzealous beaver of a prosecutor—he cares little for justice. He’s only after another feather in his cap. And let’s not forget: he is a close colleague, and personal friend, of the recently disgraced former District Attorney.

Judge Marshall Stevens: Mr. Travers, you have my sincere best wishes for your wife's recovery. That said, we cannot delay proceedings simply because you’ve failed to secure new counsel. I will grant a brief recess for you to obtain suitable representation. Failing that, one will be appointed for you. Either way, this trial will proceed.

Master Devlin (leaning in to whisper): Travers, you need help. This is going to get messy—fast. If you agree to become a Council pupil, you’ll get the legal representation you need.

Travers: Don’t worry about it, Master Devlin. I’ll be fine.

Master Devlin (sitting back): Well, on your head be it, Harris.

The Master settles back into his chair, arms folded.

Travers: Um… your Honour?

Judge Stevens: Yes, Mr. Travers?

Travers: While I appreciate the concern, given the calibre of the public defenders on offer, I’d sooner be represented by a retaded mule. But as it happens—I am a lawyer. So it makes perfect sense that I represent myself.

Prosecutor: Your Honour, I object.

Judge Stevens: Overruled. While I would strongly advise against it, Mr. Travers, it is your right to represent yourself. That said, I will warn you: keep a civil tongue in my courtroom.

Travers: Thank you, your Honour. And my apologies—I’m simply passionate about my future freedom.

Judge Stevens: Very well, Mr. Travers. Shall we proceed? Please note that Mr. Travers will be representing himself.

Prosecutor: Your Honour, I strongly object.

Judge Stevens: On what grounds?

Prosecutor: The witness, Ms. Cynthia Jones, will not want to be cross-examined by the person she’s accusing of assault.

Travers: Your Honour, the prosecution is speaking out of turn. He’s just scared of facing a real lawyer!

Judge Stevens: While your enthusiasm is noted, the Acting DA does raise a valid point.

Travers: Your Honour, surely I have the right to face and question my accuser. What kind of cloak-and-dagger court is the Acting DA trying to turn this into? Where are we, China? Soviet Russia? Birdonia?? Your Honour, I have the right to defend myself fully as a Waldonian citizen. If Miss Jones is so confident in her accusations, surely she can handle a few questions. I implore you, Your Honour—this dark path you’re considering... it’s not the way. It’s not OUR way! Judge Stevens: You make a passionate argument, Mr. Travers, but I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to cross-examine the witness accusing you. That would make a mockery of my courtroom.

Travers: It’s already a mockery! This whole trial is out of turn... No disrespect intended, Your Honour, but I implore you—do us all the dignity of ending this charade right here and now.

Judge Stevens: I’ll tell you what, Mr. Travers. You will be required to have co-counsel, someone to speak on your behalf during engagements with the alleged victim. You may represent yourself during the rest of the trial.

Travers: I have no co-counsel, Your Honour.

Master Devlin (leaning in, whispering): Psst… let the counsel help you, Travers.

Travers: Certainly none that I trust. Sigh... Your Honour, I didn’t want to have to do this, but... may we approach?

Judge Stevens: Yes, you may.

Travers: Thank you…

Travers and the Acting DA approach the bench. Travers, a tiny goblin, must scale the bench to speak to the judge face-to-face.

Travers: Your Honour, the fact of the matter is, the prosecution has intentionally failed to inform this court of a certain critical factor in this case...

Judge Stevens: Go on…

Travers: ...Namely, my deeply classified immunity agreement with the Waldonian government, which expressly covers the charges brought before you and protects me from overzealous prosecutors like this... unsavoury character. We have something of a secret quid pro quo arrangement. Off the books.

The Judge and Acting DA exchange a look, both raising an eyebrow.

Travers: Yes... It’s true.

Judge Stevens: Off the books, you say?

Travers: Quite so. Very few people know about it. For my protection, of course. But rest assured, it goes all the way to the highest level of the Justice Department. It's a black ops task force. I’m afraid you have no choice but to throw this case out... in the interest of national security.

Meanwhile, Master Devlin, with his keen dragon hearing, can hear everything. He facepalms and shakes his head in disbelief.

Judge Stevens: Do you have anyone who can speak on your behalf… from the Justice Department?

Travers: Well, I understand Mr. Jonathan Frakes is here—he's the world-renowned fact-checker. Also, Master Devlin, from the Masters Council.

Travers waves gleefully at Master Devlin.

Master Devlin looks away quickly, pretending not to notice.

Prosecutor: Your Honour, Mr. Frakes would be a hostile witness. He's known for making appearances in court cases and offering highly biased views, not to mention his extensive record for perjury.

Travers: That’s slander, Your Honour! Mr. Frakes is a national treasure, just like me. Do not fall for the shameless lies of this pitiful weasel of a man—he speaks out of turn more times than he changes his underwear!

Judge Stevens: Mr. Travers, I ask again—do you have any actual proof of your claim? The word of a self-described "fact-checker" I’ve never heard of is not good enough.

Travers: Well, it's a bit tricky. Unfortunately, certain individuals within the Justice Department are trying to cover this up.

Prosecutor: We aren't aware of any such agreement, Your Honour.

Travers: Nonsense, Your Honour. The prosecution has surely been briefed. They’re just pretending otherwise...

Judge Stevens: Alright, I’ve heard enough. Mr. Travers, please return to your seat.

Travers: Your Honour, I must strenuously ask you to reconsider. The fact of the matter is, I have informed on some of Waldonia's most heinous criminals, doing more for this glorious nation in the past seven months than this gormless gimp could ever hope to in his entire life.

Judge Stevens: Mr. Travers, I’m afraid you’re speaking out of turn. You’ve provided no credible evidence or witnesses to back up this wild claim. Now, take your seat. Motion for a mistrial denied.

Travers: Your Honour, if you would just summon Mr. Frakes, he’ll confirm everything. He knows everything.

Judge Stevens: SIT DOWN, Mr. Travers.

The Master chuckles softly in the background.

Defeated, Travers climbs down from the bench and returns to his seat.

Judge Stevens: Now... Mr. Travers, you have been charged with the following crimes: Sexual assault of a WRS officer; resisting arrest; sexually harassing a female police officer; failure to submit reasonable tax returns; evading tax payments; and falsifying documents. Mr. Travers, how do you plead?

Travers: Not guilty, Your Honour. On all charges...

Judge Stevens: Very well, enter into the record that the defendant has pleaded not guilty.

Travers: Your Honour, I must ask again. It is imperative that you allow the witness testimony of Mr. Frakes regarding the sensitive factor we discussed... (The judge shows signs of weary frustration before conceding.)

Judge Stevens: Fine, Mr. Travers. I will allow Mr. Frakes to speak on your behalf, but I wouldn't get your hopes up... I assume you'd like me to clear the courtroom for this?

Travers: Please, Your Honour. Thank you!

Judge Stevens: (nods, with a resigned tone) Bailiffs, clear the courtroom. Everyone except Mr. Travers, the Assistant DA, and Master Devlin, please leave. (He gestures firmly, his voice more weary than stern.) We will proceed in private. You may all go.

The judge calls for Mr. Frakes. Devlin and Travers exchange surprised glances as Frakes, morbidly obese, is wheeled in on a wheelbarrow by Kaz Miller. Frakes continues to munch on a chemical burger, his greasy fingers staining the paper wrapper. The prosecutor visibly recoils, clearly disturbed by the overpowering smell.

Judge Stevens: (trying to remain composed) Mr. Frakes, might I ask you to hold off on your lunch until after the hearing?

Frakes: (muffled) Sorry, your honour. Just one second...

Frakes quickly swallows the rest of the burger in a single gulp, belching loudly before brushing crumbs off his stretched and torn black suit from Beyond Belief.

Prosecutor: Your Honour, I object! This is grossly offensive!

Judge Stevens: Overruled. But let's be quick about this, shall we? Now, Mr. Frakes... Mr. Travers claims you have knowledge about him being exempt from government prosecution? Something regarding a secret immunity deal?

Frakes: You are correct, Your Honour. It's fact.

Judge Stevens: Care to elaborate?

Frakes: There’s an immunity agreement with the Justice Department, in which Harris Travers works as a confidential informant for a classified task force of the Waldonian Investigative Bureau. His role is to take down high-value criminals. The immunity protects him from prosecution for past crimes.

Judge Stevens: Do you have any proof of this?

Frakes: Only my word as a national fact-checker... It’s secret for a reason.

Judge Stevens: Tell me more about this role as a fact-checker.

Frakes: I was the host of Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, which gives me the ability to distinguish fact from fiction, thanks to firsthand research by author Robert Tralins.

Prosecutor: I object, Your Honour. This witness is hardly credible. This whole thing is utterly ludicrous and a waste of the court’s time!

Judge Stevens: Sustained.

Frakes: I don't think so. That’s false. Everything I’ve told you is true. The fact is, whether you believe me or not, Harris Travers is an informant for the Waldonian government. He’s been informing on his own clients for the past seven months.

Judge Stevens: I’ve heard enough. Thank you, Mr. Frakes. You may go.

Frakes: Yes, Your Honour...

Kaz hands him another burger and wheels him out of the court. The Master gives Frakes a look of disappointed disgust.

Judge Stevens: Mr. Travers, that was embarrassing. I will not have you turning my courtroom into a circus.

Travers: I don’t understand, Your Honour. Mr. Frakes couldn’t have been clearer. How can you be so obtuse?

Judge Stevens: Obtuse? Mr. Travers, I’ve been more than patient. I allowed your witness—against my better judgment—and what did you bring? No documentation, no corroboration. Just the ramblings of an obscenely large actor who claims to be a fact checker because of a television show, citing an obscure book no one’s heard of. You’re a lawyer—allegedly. You know full well that we need evidence, not the word of a man who can’t even seem to check his own backside.

Travers: But Your Honour, in my defence, he didn’t look like that until recently. I mean, it must’ve happened while I was in jail! Besides, we regularly accept eyewitness testimony—often without physical evidence. And it is up to the prosecution to prove guilt beyond reasonable doubt, not me, the defendant. Travers. National treasure. I would plead with you to reconsider. This is devastating to my case—

Judge Stevens: Denied. That will be all, Mr. Travers. This trial will proceed as scheduled—24th of May. I’ll see you in two weeks. Court is adjourned.

Travers: Nooo, Your Honour... You're speaking out of turn! You're ignoring centuries of legal precedent—and it is you who is making a mockery of this justice system!

Judge Stevens: I'm speaking out of turn? Well then, how about fourteen days in solitary confinement?

Travers: No thank you, Your Honour. That's quite alright...

Judge Stevens: Too late. Bailiffs—take Mr. Travers away.

Travers: No! I don’t want to! Please—I'm sorry, Your Honour! I’m just very upset... it’s my wife, remember? She’s in a coma!

Judge Stevens: Very well. Bailiffs, return him to his cell.

Season 3 continues in Post Pre-Trial Blues