Threads of War
The following takes place following: Just One More Thing
The Master leaves the mansion compound and heads west, across Waverly Hills to Waldeo Drive. A handful of humans are out shopping in the high-end stores. For a moment, it almost looks like the city’s gone back to normal — if you ignored the fact it’s still night all the time, and the green mist hanging in the air looks about as healthy as pond scum.
He steps into a large, over-decorated clothing store — the newly rebranded Von Hildendorf Boutique — and walks through the display racks like he owns the place. In the back, he finds Tess mid-rant, laying into one of her skunkbreed employees.
Master Devlin: Hello, Tess.
Tess: Oh, it's you. What are you doing here? Come to buy something. Well I'm not sure you could afford it. Not on your peasant salary...
Master Devlin: I’m sure you’re right. (He glances around.) So... this whole street belongs to you now?
Tess: That’s correct. Every boutique, every flagship, every velvet rope. What of it?
Master Devlin: Oh, nothing really. I just thought it interesting that Reg has been shopping here lately. In your shops. I’m surprised you allow it. I mean — I know he’s the Supreme Warlord and all, but—
Tess: WHAT?? Office equipment? Wearing my designs?
Master Devlin: You didn’t know?
Tess: I...wasn’t informed. This is... outrageous. Unacceptable. Inconceivable.
Master Devlin: Yes, terrible. You know what’s worse?
Tess: What? How could it possibly be worse?
Master Devlin: He wears them once and returns them. Soiled.
Tess: HEAVENS!!
Tess stumbles backward, clutches her pearls. Her expression collapses in theatrical agony.
This is an insult of the highest order! 😤
Master Devlin: It’s true. He’s had another round of bird flu. He used a Ralph Lauren shirt as a hanky.
Tess: This is an insult of the highest order!!! 😤 Tess swoons dramatically. Skunk VII appears in time to catch her.
Skunk VII: How do you know all this? You have proof?
Master Devlin: I have spies everywhere. Reg has been seen wearing items only available here on Waldeo Dr. In fact I've had one of Reg’s minions tailed as he was seen hauling bags from this very street. The next day, they were seen returning the clothes...
Skunk VII: 🤨 Really? Do you have photographic evidence—
Tess: Shut up, both of you. No more talk! This requires action. Skunk — prepare the troops. We strike tonight. There's a paper mill on the edge of Widdecombe. I want it in ashes by dawn. Burn it to the ground! This. Means. WAR.
Master Devlin: I’ll leave you to your planning, then.
Tess: Aren’t you going to help?
Master Devlin: It’s not my concern. I simply thought you should know.
Tess: Why bring this to me? What’s your angle?
Master Devlin: I have no angle. The little shit broke the treaty. You asked for one thing — and he invaded it... Violated it. Soiled it with his filth.
Tess: I see. Well, then... I suppose I should thank you for the information. Mr Skunk, there’s a row of Zegna suits in the back office. Give the Master one of his choosing.
Master Devlin: That won’t be necessary. I only hope we can put the past behind us.
Tess: Yes, yes. Fine. We’re allies, then. Now get out — I have a war to conduct.
Master Devlin: Yes, ma’am.
He turns to go.
Tess: Mr Skunk — tell the boys we’re going to the mattresses.
Master Devlin: Oh, one more thing. A word of advice.
Tess: What now?
Master Devlin: During the Skunks’ “controlled detonations”... stand well back.
Tess: Hmm. Yes. That sounds wise. Goodbye.
A brief Godfather-style montage follows — headlines panning, smoke rising, camera flashes popping.
“LOCAL PAPER MILL REDUCED TO ASHES.”
“BIRD BRAWL LEADS TO BLOODBATH.”
“ZEGNA LINE PULLED AFTER BIOHAZARD CONTAMINATION.”
Somehow, the newspapers were still in business despite Widdlington's current apocalyptic situation.
Cut to Warlord Waldo playing honkytonk on a warped piano in his mansion suite, staring out across the skyline at the rising fires.
The war had begun again.
Season 5 continues in The View from the Bar