Are We The Baddies?

The following takes place following: Housekeeping

The Master goes to see Mr Konrad and Master Trelawny at the council grounds. They've already set up several vaccination centres and are preparing to begin mass vaccinations.

Master Devlin: Josiah. Mr Konrad. Are we about ready to start inviting people in for their vaccine?

Mr Konrad: Yes but I’m still concerned about your associate’s lack of transparency. He won’t divulge what’s actually in this vaccine. Where did you find this character? He seems about as trustworthy as Mayor Travers...

Master Devlin: You'll have to forgive him. You're not in the Masters’ Council therefore he doesn’t feel it’s his place to share certain details. But Josiah here has been with the council many years. He helped us through the last plague.

Mr Konrad: Well, I must admit I’m having serious doubts myself about taking this vaccine...

Master Devlin: Of course. That is your business, Mr Konrad.

Mr Konrad: Are you taking it?

Master Devlin: It’s a human virus, is it not, Josiah?

Master Trelawny: That is correct. If you’ll excuse me — I need to go check on something...

Trelawny steps out of the room.

Master Devlin: I can take the vaccine if that would reassure you, Mr Konrad... but it’s not really meant for me.

Mr Konrad doesn’t respond. He stares into space, frozen, deep in thought. Suddenly, Ed appears and begins narrating his inner monologue aloud.

Ed: It was in this moment that Mr Konrad had a very uneasy feeling. Did the Masters create this flu just to mass vaccinate the population of Widdlington with a mystery inoculation? After all, he’d heard the mayor accuse Master Devlin of being responsible for the outbreak... Yet now the Masters claim it was unrelated radiation poisoning — not the swine flu he himself had purchased from Widdle Frunkut and told Mr Boothe to infect David Platt with...

Konrad stares at Devlin and Devlin stares back...

Master Devlin: Mr Konrad, are you alright? You appear to be perspiring.

Mr Konrad says nothing.

Ed: Were the council the villains all along? No... surely not? There had to be some explanation. Then again... it did add up...

Ed then starts circling Devlin like a predator.

Ed: A growing concern brewed within the Master. Has he seen us for what we really are? He wondered. Will Mr Konrad betray me too? Accuse me of being a fascist brute, just as Van Der Beak did before? Perhaps I should just kill Konrad now.

Devlin shoots Ed a glare.

Master Devlin: 🤨

Suddenly, Mr Konrad stammers to life.

Mr Konrad: I didn’t... I mean — that’s not... Hrmm...

Ed: Mr Konrad tried to deny it, but he found himself unable to. After all, they had planned to secretly vaccinate the population against their will... And just before that, Mr Boothe had spoken of how Master Devlin had the corpse of some poor girl spirited away by sinister characters. Am I working for the baddies? he couldn’t help but ask himself. Are we the baddies? It’s not fair. I didn’t ask for any of this. I was just a bank clerk. I obeyed the law, paid my taxes — unlike the mayor I now work for...

Mr Konrad: Would you stop that?! Who are you anyway? Master Devlin, who is that strange little man?

Master Devlin: Wait — you can see him?

Mr Konrad: Of course I can see him!

Master Devlin: Oh... That’s Ed. He’s a Master of Manipulation. This is rather unusual, though, he doesn’t normally reveal himself to others. Anyway, you really don’t look well, Mr Konrad. Do you have a temperature? I think you might have the super flu...

Ed: Nooo, no... that’s not possible. The Master’s trying to gaslight Mr Konrad into letting his guard down — so he can inject him with his newly created poison.

Mr Konrad: Shut up!

Ed: He’s going to kill you, Mr Konrad. But first he’s going to drug and rape you. He does that. Just ask the bird.

Mr Konrad: Get away from me! All of you — stay back! I want out!

Mr Konrad starts to hyperventilate.

Ed: Look at him, Mr Konrad. Those pointy triangular features... those East Asian eyes... He’s a sinister serpent. He’s best friends with Widdle Frunkut — a mass murderer. That says it all, really. Don’t let him touch you. Your only chance is to kill him first!

Mr Konrad rips a copper pipe from one of Josiah’s contraptions and brandishes it defensively.

Master Devlin: Now now, Mr Konrad — there’s no need for this.

Mr Konrad rushes at Devlin who quickly disarms him and lands a clean punch to the jaw. Konrad drops to the floor, unconscious.

Master Devlin: Ed, what the hell is the matter with you? Explain yourself! Are you really that bored? I thought we talked about your meddling!

Ed: I saw an opportunity for a little fun and I took it! Oh dear... it looks like you broke his jaw. Tsk tsk. Terrible. Such violence... and only hours after giving the mayor a concussion. You really are on a rampage. Well, my work here is done. Goodbye!

Ed vanishes into thin air. 💥✨

The Master sighs and calls for Trelawny.

Master Trelawny: Yes, what— Oh my, what happened here?

Master Devlin: He fainted. I think he’s ill. Josiah, carry on with the vaccination effort. I’ll take Mr Konrad to the hospital.

Master Trelawny: Should he be vaccinated?

Master Devlin: No... He expressed his views on the matter. That’s his choice. Besides — he probably needs to be well in order to be vaccinated. If he does have the flu, I suppose he’ll just have to ride it out.

The Master takes Mr Konrad to the hospital and informs his family. Unfortunately, he’s quickly admitted to the ICU and put on a ventilator.

Season 6 continues in Return of the Mayor