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The following takes place following: A Wild Mayuri Appears

The Master arrives at the West Wallywood branch of the Waldoshire County Sheriff’s Office and walks up to the desk sergeant.

Master Devlin: I'm Master Devlin of the Masters Council...

He flashes his badge.

Master Devlin: I am here to see the Mayor.

Desk Sergeant: I’ll take you down. A real piece of work, that one. I heard they might press charges.

Master Devlin: What for?

Desk Sergeant: The Mayor, in his drunken state, got a little handsy with a female arresting officer.

Master Devlin: I see. Well, take me down to him.

The Master walks up to Travers’ cell.

Travers: Well, look who it is... Mr Fancy-Pants Master come to gloat over the incarcerated Travers man...

Master Devlin: I wasn’t, but seeing that you have this attitude...

The Master pulls out a shiny apple and starts munching. 🍎

Travers: I have every right to this attitude... My best friend is keeping my wife from me.

Master Devlin: I am having her cared for.

Travers: Sure... No doubt so your colleague can have her all to himself, I’m sure.

Master Devlin: What are you talking about?

Travers: It doesn’t matter. It’s personal.

Master Devlin: What are you telling me, Travers? I have my suspicions, but I want to hear it from you. Look — you’re locked up in here. You might as well talk to me.

Travers: I'm talking about your friend Wyndam-Pryce... and my wife.

Master Devlin: What’s going on there?

Travers: They’re in love.

Master Devlin: Ah. I didn’t know.

Travers: 😒 ...Given Mayuri’s... past, and my struggles with addiction, we’d agreed to an open relationship — on the condition that it was only casual encounters. But recently my wife admitted she was developing strong feelings for another man. A former regular client she’d reconnected with. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.

Master Devlin: Oh...

Travers: I had a plan, Master Devlin! A good plan. I’d strand her in the woods for a week or so, then come to her rescue... then she'd only have eyes for Travers. She'd forget him and come back to me!

Master Devlin: Wait — Wesley wasn’t a client though, surely?

Travers: My sources tell me he was... She used to change his oil every Monday and Friday for £20... Apparently they developed a close friendship...

Master Devlin: Oh dear...

Travers: So there you have it.

Master Devlin: I see... Well, here is the deal, Travers. Mayuri is likely going to be in a wheelchair for a long time. She’ll need care. You’ll need to clean her bottom.

Travers: Oh dear. 🤢

Master Devlin: Do you want that responsibility?

Travers: I’d rather not... I’m going to pray to the Editor to fix her legs!

Master Devlin: Good luck with that... Now, the little matter of the potential charges against you — regarding the female detaining officer.

Travers: They’re false! It’s a politically motivated stitch-up!

Master Devlin: But why? You tell us “everyone loves you,” and that you’re a “national treasure”?

Travers: I may have slightly exaggerated the first part... Apparently not everyone — for reasons I struggle to comprehend.

The Master sniggers.

Master Devlin: Just the first part?

Travers: It’s gotta be the soldiers. The WPD and the Sheriff’s Department don’t like that there’s a new police force on the scene who reports directly to Travers... This is an Ed-damn coup!

Detective Mitch Kellaway enters.

Detective Kellaway: Well, well — Mayor Travers and Master Devlin. Mayor Travers, I’ll be conducting your interview. Do you require any legal representation?

Master Devlin: What is this about, Kellaway? Why are you here anyway? I thought you were with the WPD?

Detective Kellaway: Interdepartmental cooperation.

Travers: You see! They want to take down Travers!

Detective Kellaway: Mayor Travers is accused of groping a female officer during an arrest.

Travers: I was acquitted of that charge in a court of law! I represented myself — nailed it! Though I don’t like to brag, I’m a very humble goblin... Humble national treasure.

Master Devlin: Umm... Travers, that has nothing to do with this. This alleged offence is a lot more recent than that. Now I suggest you shut the fuck up.

Travers: Oh, okay... Well, now that we’ve cleared that up, we’ll be on our way then... Come along, Master Devlin... If you please, Detective...

Kellaway and the Master stare at Travers.

Travers: ...You know, Detective. I was a Detective Lieutenant with the Springwood Police Department in Ohio for 23 years... How about a little professional courtesy?

Detective Kellaway: Do you know impersonating a police officer is a criminal offence, Mr Mayor?

Master Devlin: No, he didn’t know that, and he is very sorry. Aren’t you, Travers?

Travers shakes his head dismissively.

Master Devlin: Now, Detective, are you intending on pressing charges against my client?

Detective Kellaway: I haven’t decided yet. He needs to answer some questions first.

Travers: Questions? I have no time for questions! I have a city to run...

Detective Kellaway: I don’t care. I can hold you for 48 hours. And from what I’ve heard, Mr Mayor, you haven’t exactly been busy running the city — unless drunk, half-naked, and demanding oil changes from strippers now counts as municipal work. So I’d say your diary’s wide open. Now, if you’ll come with me to the interview room, we’ll get started.

Travers: Fine... Let’s get this over with then.

The Master and Travers sit down in the interview room with Detectives Kellaway and Doyle. Travers waits with the patience of a small cat.

Detective Kellaway: So, Mr Travers, I’m not going to waste your time. We’ll just get down to the facts. At around 11 a.m. yesterday morning, you entered the Sass Hole Lounge Gentlemen’s Club, and you didn’t leave until you were removed by security at approximately 12:45 a.m. That’s quite an enduring session, Mr Mayor — being the busy public official you claim to be.

We have several witnesses claiming that you were demanding oil changes from various members of staff — and even from other patrons.

The Master gives Travers a look of disgust.

Detective Kellaway: You proceeded to berate them when you weren’t given the satisfaction you declared you were entitled to. After being escorted from the premises, you became violent and abusive — at which point the police were called. One of the female arresting officers claimed that you grabbed her bottom, her breasts, and — weirdly — produced a "snake’s tongue" and started licking her cheeks and neck. The other police officer and venue security support this claim. Do you care to explain yourself, Mr Travers?

Travers: I have no memory of any of that.

Travers whispers in the Master’s ear.

Travers: The detective speaks out of turn... and will have no cakes today.

Travers then turns and blurts out to the detective:

Travers: And unless you have some sort of illustration to prove it, then I suggest you release my client this instant!

Kellaway and the Master look at Travers, completely perplexed. The Master also looks disappointed.

Detective Kellaway: I’m sorry, Mr Travers — you said your client? You do realise that you are being questioned, and you aren’t representing anyone. Are you representing yourself? Why are you here, Master Devlin?

Master Devlin: To be honest... at this point, I don’t know.

Travers: Uh... right! Yes... Right... Excuse me. I'm so used to being the lawyer in this setting, y’see. Everything’s a little topsy-turvy in Travers Town at the moment. My wife is in the hospital in a grave condition. And I think I’m still a little intoxicated. But yes — the Master is indeed my legal counsel.

Master Devlin sighs.

Master Devlin: Very well then. Just shut up and say “No Comment” to everything, Travers...

Kellaway gets called out of the interview room. Half an hour later, he returns.

Detective Kellaway: So — the charges regarding the groping of the officer are being dropped. But you will be going up against a judge this morning for your disorderly conduct...

Kellaway leaves, clearly unhappy. Travers looks very smug.

Travers: Travers, you've done it again...

Season 7 continues in Mayor Malfunction