The Madness of Mayor Travers

The following takes place following: Strong Leadership and the Cleansing Holy Fire

Travers steps out from in front of the Traverscast streaming camera and sits down at his desk, pouring himself a celebratory Goblin Brand scotch.

Travers: Well I think that went pretty well... See Master Devlin, what did I tell you? You worry too much. Like I always say, nothing solves problems like a Travers speech to save the day... Though I have to admit, that bit about being honest was your good idea... so congratulations. It was a team effort...

Master Devlin: That’s not what I meant Travers and you know it…

Travers: I'm not going to argue with you, Master Devlin. Point is... This isn't the Westminster bubble... Waldonians are a different people... They appreciate strong leadership.

Master Devlin: Ummm... Travers...

Travers: What is it?

The Master points to the Citadel security camera feed. They see a large angry mob with torches and pitchforks forming at the base of the citadel.

Travers: See. They've come to pay tribute to their glorious leader...

Master Devlin: I don't think so.

The Master flops onto the floor and scurries on his eight tentacles to open the balcony door. He looks down to the street far below and sees the crowd growing rapidly by the second. Several thousand already.

The Master returns to the security monitors. He gestures to the various signs calling for Travers "The Tiny Tyrant" to be removed from office.

Master Devlin: Still think they are here to pay tribute?

Travers: Nooo... I guess not. Probably commies on the payroll of my rivals.

Master Devlin: No, Travers. Those are regular citizens, unhappy that you are siding with a beast that has terrorised them...

Travers: Whatever. This was to be expected. You can't please everyone. They're just a vocal minority. Mr Booth! Have the guards remove them. I don’t want them making a mess of my doorstep... Actually, no, wait a minute. I've got a better idea. This sounds like a job for the protector of the realm... Mr Waldo!

The Waldobeast pokes its feathered head in from a window.

Waldobeast: Yes, sir?

Travers: There's an angry mob outside the citadel. Swoop down there and scare them off.

Master Devlin: NO, TRAVERS!!

Waldobeast: Yes sir! It's BBQ time.

Master Devlin: WALDO! STOP! DON'T YOU—

Ignoring the Master, the Waldobeast eagerly divebombs off the window ledge and swoops down on the crowd, unleashing fire breath indiscriminately on them. The Waldobeast makes short work of the mob and kills about half before the rest flee in terror. Even all the way up in the office, screams from the crowd far below can be heard. The camera catches a woman on fire, clutching her face as it melts off and she collapses in flames. The Waldobeast has flown off to continue his rampage elsewhere.

The Master, Mr Boothe and Mr Konrad look on in horror as all these people are burned to death. Then they all look at Travers in disbelief, who is sitting back in his chair staring at the ceiling.

Travers: You hear that? Silence... There see. Problem solved...

Master Devlin: Travers... That was murder...

Travers: Murder?? What are you talking about?

Master Devlin: LOOK AT THE SCREENS!

Travers puts on his glasses and stares into the screen. He sees hundreds of smouldering, charred bodies all over the courtyard.

Travers: Oh... Um... Hmmm... That wasn't exactly what I had intended... Well... What's done is done. Thank you. That will be all, gentlemen...

Mr Konrad and Mr Boothe step outside, too ashamed to speak.

Travers: Ermintrude! Another drink, please, my dear!

Master Devlin: Ermintrude isn't here. She went on her lunch break. And I'm leaving too.

Travers: Where are you going?

Master Devlin: You crossed a line, Travers. You had all those people murdered... There’s nothing else I can do for you...

Travers: I had violent insurrections dealt with. I warned them there would be harsh consequences. Now it's regrettable how it turned but they got the message now...

Master Devlin: You didn’t warn them. You just set Waldo upon them even though you know what he's like. Well I can't be part of that.

Travers: Oh, that’s rich… You get to sit back and critique, while I’m the one forced to make the hard calls. I did what had to be done—for the good of the nation...

Travers starts rummaging through his desk drawers.

Travers: And what? Now that you don’t like how I've handled things, you think you can just walk away? Walk out on our friendship??

Master Devlin: Yes. Goodbye, Travers...

Travers: Ah here we are! You see this...

Travers pulls an illustration out of the drawer of Waldo holding the decapitated head of journalist Toby Hunter, who was killed on Devlin's orders.

Travers: You might think you can get away with acting all high and mighty with me, but you forget that I have access to the Waldoverse archives... I know what you did... What you had your "pupil" do... So, please get off your high horse and spare me the moral high ground routine...

Master Devlin: ...

Travers: Look... I need you... Steven. We're in this together till the end. Our friendship was born out of a buddy road movie. The deepest bond of friendship you can get. Don't turn your back on me now. Not when we're so close to fixing this town... We are flawed beings... but together we can achieve great things. I don't mind if you want to chew me out some more... but just don't go. Please...

Master Devlin: We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of... But what you have done here today is madness. I didn’t think you were capable of such acts, but you’ve allowed Widdle Frunkut to manipulate you. You may as well have nuked the town in the name of the cleansing you speak of. You have lost your god damn mind Travers. And I can no longer be part of this madness.

The Master goes to leave through Travers' door and finds Goblin Slayer standing silently on the other side, holding a badly burned Ermintrude in his arms. She’s still alive, but has serious burns. Travers looks at Ermintrude in shock.

The Editor shakes his head at the Co-Editor...

Ed: Why must you keep damaging the precious Waldoverse women?

Cody: Travers must learn.

The Master urges Goblin Slayer to lay her down in the next room as he calls for a doctor. The Master then returns to Travers who is still in shock.

Master Devlin: There... Do you see what you’ve done? Another violent insurrectionist getting their due...

Travers: No... I... I didn't... This wasn't supposed to happen! What was she doing out there? She was innocent...

Master Devlin: I told you. She was out getting lunch. And those people out there were innocent too. Innocent protestors. Ordinary people unwilling to tolerate the tyrant that you have become... Probably family members of the people in those media buildings you had torched.

Travers: What choice did we have? Waldo was out of control. You know fine well he could've destroyed the city easily. I did what I thought was best... For the greater good! Try to direct his chaos.

Travers starts pacing back and forth, muttering to himself.

The Master moves up to Travers and smacks him with a tentacle.

Master Devlin: Snap out of it man.

Travers: Okay... okay...

Travers tries to light a cigar but is shaking too much. The Master lights it for him.

Travers: Th-thanks... I didn't want him to kill those people. I just wanted him to scare them off.

Master Devlin: You trusted Widdle Frunkut. That's never a good idea. You lied to the public and made things worse, against my advice. Why am I even here?

Travers: Well... To keep me right!

Master Devlin: But you keep doing the opposite of what I tell you. How can I keep you right?

Travers: I... I don't know. I think there's something wrong with me. I get... mad sometimes. The madness takes over. Maybe it's this place? The Citadel... Something about it... I think it's...

Cody: Travers has turned into Charles Logan.

Ed nods in agreement.

Travers: I'm not a bad guy, Master Devlin... at least I don't mean to be... I just... do things... crazy things...

Master Devlin: Well... Look. There are two options here. One: You can turn yourself in and maybe they show you mercy. Or Two: You pin everything on the winged beast. You said everything under duress. And maybe... just maybe you might be able to continue as mayor.

Travers: What do you advise? Widdle Frunkut might not appreciate me throwing him under the bus.

Master Devlin: I doubt he'll care. He only lives for chaos. Anyway, I need to go see if Larry has figured out if he can fix this whole Freaky Friday problem. Then that should solve the problem of the Waldobeast. You can highlight that the mayor's office was hijacked by Widdle Frunkut.

Travers: Okay. Okay... sure... Although... There is a third option...

Master Devlin: What's that?

Travers: What if we just... plough ahead? Stay the course and make the best of a bad situation. I mean I feel terrible about Ermie but neither of those courses of action will help her or us. It's too risky. Why not instead keep Waldo on our good side and just... embrace being a tyrant for a while? How about I just promise to be a benevolent dictator from now on?

Master Devlin: What?

Travers: Think about it. There's no way the people will challenge us now. And they certainly won't forgive us if we show weakness. I really think we should maintain course. If we just hold on for a little longer we can both come out of this on top...

Master Devlin: You really have gone completely mad, haven't you? We have already went through the issue of you not listening to me and allowing the issue to get worse. Ermie is on her way to Larry’s office who can perhaps help her more than conventional medicine and might have a chance of not being permanently disfigured. If she doesn’t survive though, Goblin Slayer will kill you. If you decide to become a benevolent dictator then you will have become just like Reginald Van Der Beak. As soon as we deal with Waldo, which is only a matter of time, there will be a revolution for sure and you will be overthrown. The way to be a successful and effective tyrant is to maintain fear. You will not be a national treasure. You will be a national shame. I will not support you in this decision. The Masters Council will not support you in this decision. Part of the Masters Council’s charter is for maintaining peace and democracy in the realm. Not madness. If you say the mayor's office was overthrown by Waldo and then we retake it, you are more likely to maintain public support. So... What is it going to be?

Travers: I am listening and I value your advice, Master Devlin, but that doesn't mean I'm going to automatically agree. You can advise whatever you want but as mayor, I have to make these tough decisions. Decisions that have real consequences. You are asking me to give up the biggest advantage we've got and throw ourselves at the mercy of a bunch of bloodthirsty peasant yokels. That IS madness. And no doubt they'll want to tear the council apart too, given the chance... They're not going to distinguish between the likes of you, me or Waldo now. We're all monsters in their eyes! If we allow the mob power, every non-human will be a target. I've seen it before. No... I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen... There WILL be a violent revolution, UNLESS we hold firm. Maintain fear... Gradually, over time, we will start to restore democracy. But it's too dangerous right now. We make it clear that a peaceful, law-abiding populace will be treated magnanimously. But step out of line, and there will be zero tolerance. Then after a while, we will quietly relax things without announcing anything. I'm sorry, but it's the only way at this point. You have to trust me on this and I need you to follow me...

The Master stares at Travers in disbelief.

Travers: We should arrange some sort of celebration. A parade! To celebrate peace. I'll ride on a float down Wilford Brimley Road... Give out some money! Get the public back onside...

Master Devlin: You've lost it, Travers. You're completely delusional... Do you really think a silly parade is going to make up for what just happened??

Travers: Sure. Why not?

Master Devlin: You can do what you want, Travers... I’ve got my own business to attend to. Goodbye.

Travers: What business? Don't you abandon me, Master Devlin...

Master Devlin: Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going to see Larry about getting my body back.

Travers: Don't be ridiculous. You're a little octopus and public transport is currently suspended. It'll take you hours just to crawl from here to Waldford Heights. Just stay here... Besides, if the witch doctor had found a solution, I'm sure he would've called you.

Master Devlin: You are forgetting I can morph into anything.

The Master morphs himself into a smaller green version of his former dragon self.

Travers picks up the phone and makes a brief call and hangs up.

Travers: Good luck maintaining it for more than a few seconds? It requires practice... You're still new to this.

Master Devlin: I'll have to manage. If necessary I'll take the sewers...

Travers: But why bother? When Dr Fraser calls, I'll take you myself.

Master Devlin: I will do what I must, Travers. I don't trust you. You've lost your god damn mind.

The Master slowly walks over to the window and spreads his wings. Suddenly, his new form starts to buckle and he collapses into a puddle of goblin goo.

Master Devlin: Hrmmm.

Travers walks over and scoops up the Master into a plastic Chinese takeaway container.

Travers: There, there my friend. Don't worry about it. Like I said, it takes a lot of practice.

Master Devlin: Well then I'll just have to crawl...

Travers stares at him for a moment then his eyes turn to the plastic container lid sitting on his desk. Before the Master can reform, Travers quickly grabs it and seals the tub.

Master Devlin: WHAT? What are you doing Travers?? Open this tub right now.

Travers: I think it's best you rest now. You're stressed because of everything that's happened recently. Why don't you sleep on it?

Master Devlin: No. No Travers! LET ME OUT NOW!

Travers: Calm down Master Devlin. Just get some rest. You'll only make yourself tired and stringy.

With a cold, calculated look, Travers places the Devlin tub in his desk drawer.

Travers: I want you to know I'm doing this for your own benefit. You're not thinking clearly. The goblin mucous is messing with your mind.

The Master starts flapping around inside.

Master Devlin: YOU MOTHERFUCKER TRAVERS. I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS.

Travers closes the drawer and the Master is plunged into darkness and hears the turning of a lock. p

Season 7 continues in The First Waldonian Empire