Voting?
The following takes place following: TBD
It's the night of the referendum, and The Master is sitting on the Chronicle main office floor with many of the employees as they drink champagne and watch the live news coverage on WBC. Travers is not to be present and hasn't been seen all day.
Eventually, he stumbles in, reeking of booze and covered in glitter. He's accompanied by Chantelle Devereux, some other girl who's almost certainly a stripper, who immediately helps herself to some champagne, followed by Mr. Raymond.
Master Devlin: "Sass Hole, eh? Thought as much... Chantelle. Good evening."
Chantelle: "Sup, sugar."
Travers: "Well, Master Devlin, how goes the count?"
Master Devlin: "Neck and neck so far... I hope you found time to vote..."
Travers: "Travers? Voting? Ha ha ha. Nooo. Master Devlin. Don't be preposterous..."
Master Devlin: "Ummm... What?"
Travers: "Voting is for plebs. Travers is above all that..."
Master Devlin: "I can't believe you, Travers... After all that... Well, actually with you, I can believe it... So what did you do all day?"
Travers: "I have indeed been at the Sass Hole since 9 a.m., celebrating a successful campaign."
Master Devlin: "Successful? It's neck and neck, and the final constituencies are due to call soon."
Travers: "Don't be naive, Master Devlin. It's already decided, I can assure you. They have to keep the suspense going to keep you watching..."
Master Devlin: "Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough."
Travers: "Did you vote, Master Devlin?"
Master Devlin: "No. The Masters Council has to be impartial... How about you, Chantelle?"
Chantelle: "Sheeit, nah man. I ain't got time for that bullshit. Not when I got a club to run."
Master Devlin: "Mr. Raymond? Did you vote?"
Mr. Raymond: "I sent in a few postal votes last week... On account of my anxiety..."
Master Devlin: "I see..."
****
WBC News anchor: "…And lastly in entertainment, the Waldonian Symphony Orchestra has announced a surprise midnight performance in solidarity with the referendum process. But now, we return to our special coverage of the Democratic Governance Referendum with Rupert Wimbledon."
Cut back to WBC Studio
Rupert Wimbledon: "Thank you, Serena. It is now 11:32 PM, and if you're just joining us, I must say, the pace of tonight’s count has taken everyone by surprise. We were expecting to be here well into the early hours—four, maybe five in the morning—but with the final constituencies now reporting, and only a handful of recounts, we’re hearing that the result could be announced any minute.
And what’s more, the numbers coming in suggest something rather unusual. Elara, you’ve been watching the data closely—what are we looking at?"
Dr. Elara Voss: "It’s unlike anything I’ve seen in a national vote. The margins are razor-thin. We’re seeing district after district split almost perfectly between Yes and No. Even the recounts haven’t shifted the balance. It’s not just close—it’s symmetrical.
There are rural regions and small towns like Waldhaven and Yokelstedt that leaned heavily No, but they’ve been almost exactly offset by pro-Yes areas in Greater Widdlington. It’s as if the country has drawn a line straight through itself. From a statistical standpoint, it’s improbable. From a governance standpoint... it’s deeply uncertain."
Douglas Whale: "I'd say more than that. If this ends in a tie, I wouldn’t be surprised if..."
Rupert Wimbledon: "Hold that thought. I'm going to stop you for a second because we’re going live now to the Citadel, where Wendy Wilson, the Chief Counting Officer and chair of the Waldonian Electoral Commission, is just announcing the final figures of this referendum."
The live feed cuts to a crowded hall. A woman approaches the microphone holding a slightly crumpled A4 sheet. A hush falls.
Chief Counting Officer: "Good morning. As chief counting officer for the referendum on Democratic Governance, held on the 7th of July 2024, I hereby give notice that I have certified the following:
The total number of ballot papers counted was 21,090.
The total number of votes cast in favour of YES was 10,500.
The total number of votes cast in favour of NO was… 10,500…"
There's a loud gasp, followed by a murmur. People in the crowd grumble and look at each other in confusion.
Master Devlin: "Oh dear."
The Chronicle staff react in a similar manner.
Chief Counting Officer: "The number of ballot papers rejected due to being unmarked, unclear, or containing… drawings was 90. I therefore declare… that the result is a tie..."
Rupert Wimbledon (back in studio): "…Well, there we have it. At twenty minutes to midnight, we can confirm the final results are in — and with only 37% turnout, we have a dead tie. There is no winner. We’ll be bringing you live reactions from across Waldonia as the nation grapples with the fact that it is, quite literally, divided down the middle…"
Travers: "What? What do they mean no winner?? This is outrageous. They have tied out of turn!"
Travers smashes his wine glass off the desk.
Master Devlin: "You really should’ve voted, Travers…"
Travers: "Noooo, Master Devlin… it is you who is speaking out of turn… don't you dare try to pin this on Travers… Maybe YOU should have voted!"
Master Devlin: "And as I told you before, if you ever choose to listen to me for once in your life, the Masters cannot vote, as we MUST be impartial. It is in our constitution. I have an actual reason. You, however, Travers, are just in some kind of delusion that you’re somehow above the democratic process and think you are too important to vote."
Travers: "As former Emperor, it would be improper. Besides, I thought we had this in the bag and that polls were all fake news… I mean, who the hell votes AGAINST DEMOCRACY??"
Rupert Wimbledon: "And now we're going to speak to Simon Gemcity in the town of Waldhaven, which voted 92% for No…"
Travers: "Of course… the backwards country bumpkins and small-town hicks voting out of turn… tell you the truth, I forgot they even existed… Ed-damn yokels… they really screwed us… I mean, why the hell are they even allowed to vote??"
****
WBC: "And we now bring you an emergency broadcast from the Citadel, where Kaiserin Mayuri von Walverschmidt will be addressing the nation:"
Kaiserin Mayuri: "My fellow Waldonians, I understand how frustrated you all are after the failure to get a definitive result in the hard-fought referendum. I am equally disappointed, as I obviously expressed a desire to move to a democratic system, and yet it has failed at its very first implementation… Although I have a preference on the subject and the right to make the decision myself, I feel it would be inappropriate, given the decisive nature of the question of our future governance… After consulting with trusted advisors, historians, and constitutional scholars… I have decided that, given the eccentric and irreverent nature of our cultural heritage, to simply flip a coin… We will leave it to fate and the will of Ed Almighty…"
The Counting Officer, Wendy Wilson, appears on screen next to the Empress, bows, and hands her a ceremonial coin.
Kaiserin Mayuri: "I will now flip the coin that will decide our future, live on air, and I will allow it to hit the floor without touching it so that you may all see the result is fair and honest… Heads for Yes… Tails for No…"
Mayuri flips the coin. It almost seems to move in slow motion as the nation watches in suspense…
It hits the ground, rolls slightly in a circle, and stops, resting on its edge.
Kaiserin Mayuri: "Um… let's just try that again, shall we…"
The Counting Officer picks up the coin and hands it back to the Empress. She flips it again, and the exact same thing happens.
Kaiserin Mayuri: "Do we have another coin? I think something is wrong with this one…"
One of the imperial servants steps forward, polishes a 10p coin, bows, and presents it to her.
Kaiserin Mayuri: "Thank you. Well, here we go…"
She flips the coin. It lands on its edge.
Kaiserin Mayuri: 🤬🤬🤬🤬
The Empress unleashes an uncharacteristic torrent of swears, which the censors do their best to beep out—but they don’t catch them all.
Travers: "Wow. I've never seen Mayuri get that mad before… The Editor moves in mysterious ways…"
Master Devlin: "Urrgghh. I’ll deal with this."
The Master goes to the window and calls on the Co-Editor.
Master Devlin: "Hey, Co-Ed. I would like to talk to you, please."
The sky grumbles and lightning flashes.
Cody: "Good evening, Master Devlin. What can I do for you?"
Master Devlin: "Apologies to ask, but the Editor is clearly trolling the referendum. He has, firstly, made the voter count completely equal on both sides, which you’ll probably agree is very statistically unlikely."
Cody: "Indeed."
Master Devlin: "Now he's making the Empress' coin toss keep landing on its edge… Would you be able to make a decision on the one?"
Cody: "Very well. Done…"
The Co-Editor sends a very small tremor to the palace, causing the coin on live television to fall heads down for Yes.
Season Finale
The Waldoverse continues in The Judas Party