The Court Summons
The Case of Stanbot: Episode 5
The following takes place immediately following: The Lawyer Man
After two weeks of fruitless searching, the Master was ready to declare Stanbot missing in action. He sat in his quarters, staring at the clock, waiting for Waldo to return with supper.
Finally, Waldo burst in, carrying a watermelon and a bucket of KFC.
wF: Masta, we back! Dinner time!
Master Devlin: Widdle Frunkut, where have you been?
wF: Ah, you're awake! Getting dinner, of course!
MD: Well, hurry up then! It's been seven minutes—I’m starving!
wF: You have no idea how hard it is to find a watermelon at this time of night…
MD: Excuses! You must learn!
wF: Yes, well… one usually requires a functioning instructor to learn. 😒
MD: Excuse me, Widdle Frunkut?? 😠
wF: You were gone nearly a week. All brokey. FUGUE!
MD: Hmph. You never learned when I was functioning properly, anyway...
wF: Whatever, man… here’s your precious melon.
MD: Thank you, Widdle Frunkut. Now, we have matters to discuss.
wF: Waldo’s missing wife?
MD: No. Well… which one?
wF: Um… the nice one! Mmm. Mmmmay? May? Mavis? No. Mary! Or was it Sheena? Sheena Easton? 🤔 The most recent one!
MD: Mayuri?
wF: Yeah! She’s been gone over a fortnight! Some say she went in the river… We don’t believe it, though.
Waldo casually munches his KFC as he ponders his missing wife.
MD: The last I saw of her, you were taking her on holiday while I dealt with Sing Kang.
wF: Oh yeah! Did you get rid of her?
MD: Well, Sayuki is dead, but not by my hand. Skunk V blew himself up with her. One of his controlled detonations gone wrong. Then that lunatic Castillo arrested Stanbot. Now we’re in this mess. Weren’t you around for all this?
Waldo shrugs.
wF: What about Tess?
MD: I left her at the zoo. Anyway, Travers is involved. He’s Stanbot’s lawyer, which means Stanbot is surely doomed... You know, Waldo… part of me still thinks you are behind all of this.
wF: Saso! You wound us! You cut Wiffuhuh to the quick!
MD: You always hated that robot.
wF: It’s true, we do dislike it immensely. It’s just awful.
MD: Why?
wF: He’s extremely rude. Wiffuhuh cannot abide rudeness. Not to mention violent and foul-mouthed.
MD: And Waldo isn’t any of those things?
wF: Irrelevant!
MD: Very relevant!
wF: Violent? Sure… sometimes… But Waldo is neither foul-mouthed nor impolite!
MD: Yes, he is—on both counts.
wF: Rarely! Less than the Masta!
MD: Waldo has autistic politeness.
wF: Anyway, it matters not. Fact is, Wiffuhuh has done more than his fair share to find the robit. We navigated all that ridiculous bureaucracy, to no avail! Whatever this court is that’s prosecuting Stanbot, we has no understanding or part of it. In fact, we’ve washed our hands of it. I say we chalk it up to a loss.
MD: No. This is not over. You will help free him.
wF: Nope.
MD: YES! We are in this mess because of you.
wF: HOW?!
MD: It’s always you… This all started because you wanted me to get rid of your wives.
wF: It’s not my fault you did a sloppy job.
MD: You created the Skunk. Turned him into a psychotic terrorist.
wF: Past Waldo! That was 50 years ago! We is reformed now! A noble goblin!
MD: You are an arse, Waldo… a total idiot. You will rectify this issue. Bring back Stanbot!
wF: No! You’re a jerk!
Waldo grabs the watermelon and smashes it over the Master’s pointy head before diving out the window and disappearing.
MD: How dramatic…
Waldo reappears at the window.
wF: SHUT UP!
MD: Excuse me?
wF: You’re always mean to Wiffuhuh!
MD: Waldo must learn.
wF: We’ve been good lately! Been looking after the Masta—NO GRATITUDE!
MD: Waldo has been guilty many times of orchestrating many a ruse.
wF: Like when??
MD: Birdonia. The first one!
wF: The Editor…
MD: Framing me for Mayuri’s fake murder and sending me to prison.
wF: Editor…
MD: Nonsense.
wF: It’s the truth! Waldo hasn’t betrayed or tricked Stan since we made the Editor beaten into sludge!
MD: Whatever. Back to the issue of your missing wife. Where did you go on holiday? How did you lose her?
wF: We don’t know. Don’t remembers. We remember going to the bus station… Then all of a sudden, we was in the Elder Chamber…
MD: Yes. But what happened at the bus station? Before the Elder Chamber?
wF: Hmmm… We was speaking to a man at a stall, I think. He was selling something… Moustache combs! Then we blackened out.
MD: Hmm.
There's a knock at the door. Before anyone can answer, the door swings open. Mayuri strides in, looking uncharacteristically professional. Dressed in a smart jacket and skirt, her usually messy hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail. Stylish glasses frame her face. She carries a briefcase.
Mayuri: Senpai… Waldo…
Waldo shrinks into his seat, looking glum.
Mayuri approaches, snapping open her briefcase on the Master’s desk. She starts handing Devlin various papers.
Mayuri: I come on behalf of my employer, Travers-san…
She glares at Waldo with thinly veiled hostility.
Mayuri: A great man whom I love—who gives me what I need. A national treasure of Waldonia. A kind and selfless man… a pillar of the community who thinks only of others and nothing of himself…
The Master casually flicks through the papers. His brow furrows. The words “Noooo, Master Devlin, it is YOU who is speaking out of turn…” are typed over and over, with occasional doodles of strange hieroglyphics scattered throughout.
Mayuri: …A fine, upstanding man of good character, an inspiration to us all. He is—
wF: Confound it, woman!
MD: Waldo, care to explain what’s going on?
wF: Nothing! Nothing at all.
SLAM! The Master’s fist hits the table, rattling the KFC bucket and the watermelon remnants.)
MD: Not good enough, Waldo! What are you hiding??
wF: None of your business! It’s personal!
Ignoring their bickering, Mayuri slides another letter across the desk.)
Mayuri (formally): Master Steven Devlin, you have been summoned as a witness in the trial of Stanbot Smith. You are to report to the court tomorrow at 7 PM at this address.
She hands him a napkin with a handwritten note: “16 Franz Av. Ask for Dave @ the cobblers - T.”
Mayuri: I am also instructed to inform you that Travers-san is having Raymond-san and Boothe-san flogged as we speak—punishment for their behavior during your last encounter. Travers-san takes no pleasure in this, of course… but he understands how much discipline means to you. Consider it a gesture of goodwill.
Mayuri shuts her briefcase with a *snap.*
Mayuri: Good day, Senpai… Waldo…
She pivots sharply, marching out of the quarters, her high heels clicking against the floor. The sound makes Waldo wince, his large green ears twitching.
The Master drums his fingers on the desk. Waldo shifts uncomfortably in his chair.
MD: …Well?
wF: Hrmph. If you must know… Mayushii and Wiffuhuh are having a trial separation. And before you ask—I don’t know why! 😒 And I guess she’s working for Travers now… Let’s just move past it, shall we?
MD: Separation?? Surely you know why. What happened on that holiday? Is it because you’re not actually married to her due to all your other wives? Sing Kang being your actual wife. But she’s dead now… Does Mayuri even know her grandmother is dead?
wF: We don’t know! We told you! We don’t remember going on holiday! We were at the station and then—blackout! Woke up in the Elder Chamber! Something must’ve happened, because when we found her later, she was cross with Wiffuhuh and said we needed time apart!
A moment of contemplation. Then—
wF: …Do you think Mayuri has been cheating with the Travers man?? 😡
Suddenly, Jonathan Frakes bursts into the room—riding a shiny new mountain bike.
Frakes: Have you ever gone mountain biking through a Chinese market?
MD: 🤨 (squinting at the documents) These papers still don’t say what Stanbot is actually being charged with… Oh, hello, Frakes.
Frakes dismounts, casually peering over the Master’s shoulder.
Frakes: He’s right. It’s fact. But it does claim you have been speaking out of turn. That’s very important! Waldo! Write that down! We may need this as evidence in the trial.
Waldo, muttering to himself, furiously scribbles illegible markings on a KFC napkin using his claw and his own ink.
MD: 😒 Thank you, Frakes… But yes, Waldo, I think it is very possible Mayuri is having intercourse with Travers.
wF: 😟😓 Why would you say such stuff?? 😣😖
Frakes: You’re right again. It’s FACT! Research shows a similar story happened to a young man in the Florida area in the late 1980s.
MD: I’d rather it weren’t the case. But here we are. Is Waldo going to kill Travers now?
A long, pregnant pause. Waldo frowns deeply.
wF: …No… She wouldn’t like that. Besides, Waldo is reformed! No more murders!
He slouches in his seat, arms crossed. But then, he looks up, eyes narrowing.
wF: …Though… I doubt we could anyway. For some strange reason… we can never actually find Travers. We hear his voice. We hear of his activities… but we’ve never actually met him face to face…
He clenches his fists.
wF: We always wanted to meet him before! We was a really big fan! But now… 😡😤
He turns to the Master, eyes burning with conviction.
wF: Masta? Can you find out for us? Masta P.I.?
He gestures wildly with his claws.
wF: We’re pretty sure Grimm Investigations has disappeared. The office is gone! We want the truth! We can handle it! No matter what Travers man says!
Frakes nods sagely, gripping the handlebars of his bike.
Frakes: The truth is out there…
They both turn to look at the Master—who has completely FUGUED again.
Frakes leaves the Master's dorm for several minutes before returning, carrying a big plate of dog shit.
Frakes: Hey, Master Devlin. I found this outside on the sidewalk. It’s pretty fresh! Here, smell it! He thrusts the plate up to the Master’s fugue-state snout. The Master doesn’t move, but his eyes start to water as he becomes consumed by the smell. Eventually, he snaps out of the fugue.
Master Devlin: Good lord, Frakes! 🤮🤢 What the hell is the matter with you? Frakes: He's back, everybody! wF: Yay, Masta! 🤗
However, their success is short-lived as the Master freezes again.
Frakes shoves the plate back under the Master’s nose, moving it closer in an attempt to get a reaction. Some of the dog shit smears on the Master’s front teeth. The Master flinches slightly but stays fugued.
Frakes looks at Waldo and shrugs, then splats the plate on the Master’s snout.
wF: 👿🤢
The Master’s face is now caked in dog shit. Waldo, horrified, throws up on his plate, which Frakes then grabs and brings to the Master’s nose. The acidic smell of goblin sick begins to pierce the overpowering stench of dog shit. The two smells combine, making the Master start to shake violently.
After failing to wake up the Master, Frakes convinces Waldo to head out into the night in search of more extreme smells. They leave.
After hours of searching, the combined smell of dried dog shit and goblin puke creates a terrible stench that begins seeping into the hallway. One of the Elders, passing by, catches a whiff and goes to investigate. His lifeless body now lies on the floor of the Master’s quarters.