The Battle of Waldomere

Date: May 8, 2024

Location: Masters Council Headquarters, Waldomere District, Waldobury, Widdlington, Waldonia

The Battle of Waldomere, also known as The Masters Council Siege, stands as a brief yet pivotal moment in Waldonian history. Marked by a violent clash between enraged Widdicombian protestors and the powerful Masters Council, the battle remains one of the most significant and contentious events in the nation’s history. Led by the fiery Mr. Harold Goblinhouse, the protestors marched into the borough of Waldobury and launched an assault on the Masters Council Headquarters, situated in the district of Waldomere.

Background

The seeds of the Battle of Waldomere were sown by Widdle Frunkut, who, disguised as the elderly Witherfieldian man Mr. Harry Goblinhouse, incited the turmoil. Frunkut’s decisive moment came when he interrupted a live Jeremy Kyle event at the Wala Bingo Hall, located in the northeastern district of Witherfield in Widdicombe. For years, significant animosity had simmered between the residents of Widdicombe and the wealthier borough of Waldobury to the south, particularly towards the enigmatic Masters Council, who were viewed by the Widdicombians as unelected authoritarians responsible for many of their grievances.

Assuming the persona of Goblinhouse, Frunkut exploited this longstanding resentment during the live broadcast, which was centred on determining the father of Sarah Louise Platt’s latest child. As "Goblinhouse", Frunkut made wild and outlandish claims about the Masters, stirring up the crowd and encouraging them to take to the streets. His speech tapped into deep-rooted frustrations, and as the Witherfieldians marched through Widdicombe, they recruited others from neighbouring districts, lighting torches and heading south towards Waldobury and the Masters Council Headquarters.

Below are key documents from the Jeremy Kyle show in which "Mr. Goblinhouse" incited an angry mob:

In preparation for the impending protest, the Masters Council deployed their defences for the first time in over a century. A massive stone wall was raised from the ground, complete with watchtowers. The Masters, standing in formation atop the wall, awaited the inevitable confrontation.

Battle Participants

• Widdicombian Protestors (Approximately 700 strong):

• Leader: Widdle Frunkut, a goblin disguised as Mr. Harry Goblinhouse of Witherfield

• Notable Participants:

• Jim MacDonald
• Jez Quigley
• Fred Elliott
• Greg Kelly
• Sally Webster
• Kevin Webster
• Tracy Barlow
• Ken Barlow
• Stephen Malone

The protestors, predominantly from the district of Witherfield and surrounding areas, were driven by long-held resentment towards the Masters Council and their perceived authoritarian control over Waldonian society. As the movement gained momentum, it attracted a growing roster of discontented residents, many of whom were prominent figures within the local community, including several well-known personalities.

The Masters Council (Approximately 200 on the walls):

• Commander: Master Devlin

• Second-in-Command: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce

The Masters, a powerful and enigmatic body consisting of both humanoid dragons and influential humans, swiftly mobilised to defend their headquarters. Standing in formation atop the fortified stone walls of the Masters Council HQ, they prepared for the assault that was fast approaching. Under the leadership of Devlin, and with the support of his second-in-command, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, who was newly married to the Empress, the Masters had long relied on their commanding authority to shape the fate of Waldonia. Yet, this would be their first true test of strength and unity in over a century.

The Battle

At precisely 19:12 on the 8th of May, 2024, the Widdicombian protest army arrived at the formidable stone walls of the Masters Council headquarters, situated on the outer grounds of Waldomere, within the borough of Waldobury. Led by Widdle Frunkut, disguised as the elderly Mr. Harry Goblinhouse, the protestors, numbering approximately 700, raised their torches high in a display of defiance. The crowd was emboldened by the fiery rhetoric of their leader, who urged them to stand firm and fight for what he claimed was their due.

As the protestors assembled, the Masters Council—whose members included both powerful humanoid dragons and human figures—began to mobilise. Master Steven Devlin, the Council’s commander, stood at the forefront, his form shifting into a battle-ready stance alongside his fellow Masters. While some of the Masters were dragons, others, such as Devlin’s second-in-command, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, were human, relying on strategic authority and skill rather than physical transformations. Together, they took position atop the walls, preparing for the confrontation that was about to unfold.

Devlin, observing the growing unrest below, called out to Goblinhouse in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. "Cease this madness," he commanded, his voice carrying across the grounds. "This is not the way to resolve your grievances."

However, Goblinhouse, undeterred by Devlin's plea, responded with defiance, declaring that the protestors were there to "get their money back" from the Masters, accusing them of years of unjust authority. He further urged the protestors to hold their ground, insisting that the Masters were "all talk." In a symbolic gesture, Goblinhouse began performing what appeared to be a ritualistic goblin battle dance, a spectacle that many of the protestors awkwardly attempted to imitate. The scene was one of chaos and confusion.

The tension, however, quickly escalated as Jez Quigley, one of the protestors, charged towards the walls. His impulsive action sparked the rest of the crowd into a frenzied charge, though Goblinhouse, still engrossed in his dance, remained stationary. The protestors, undisciplined and disorganised, rushed forward in a wave of aggression, eager to confront the Masters.

The Masters, however, had prepared for such a confrontation. As the protestors neared the walls, Devlin gave the signal, and the ground beneath them began to shift. Spears erupted from the earth, impaling many of the attackers as they attempted to scale the walls. Trap pits opened behind them, trapping the protestors in the middle of the battlefield. The Masters and their dragon kin then descended from the walls, unleashing torrents of flame upon the attackers below. The fire, intense and unrelenting, consumed the front lines of the protestors, including Quigley, the first to charge.

In a matter of minutes, the protestors' initial momentum was shattered. The Masters, aided by their formidable dragon forms and tactical expertise, swiftly disarmed the remaining aggressors, rendering them either dead or incapacitated. The few remaining protestors, now desperate, were left standing trapped within the perimeter of the Masters' defences.

Upon searching for their leader, Goblinhouse was found to be missing. Widdle Frunkut, having discarded his disguise of Mr. Harry Goblinhouse, had quietly slipped away from the scene. He was last seen walking calmly from the battlefield, hands in his pockets, whistling, leaving the protestors to face the consequences of their actions.

The protestors, now realising their defeat, were left with little recourse. Jim McDonald, the first to acknowledge their failure, was quickly followed by Fred Elliott, who offered an unconditional surrender. Devlin, revealing the extent of the manipulation they had suffered, gave the surviving protestors the opportunity to gather their wounded and depart.

However, as the protestors began to regroup, a violent altercation broke out among their ranks when an enraged Greg Kelly began savagely beating Sally Webster. This quickly descended into a widespread brawl amongst the protestors, which would continue for hours. The violence claimed many more lives, as disillusioned protestors fought amongst themselves, marking a tragic end to what had been a brief but brutal episode in Waldonian history.

Casualties

Widdicombian Protestors: It is estimated that approximately 180-200 of the 700 protestors were killed during the initial clash at the Masters Council’s defences, with hundreds more suffering injuries of varying severity. In the aftermath, a further dozen or more perished in the ensuing brawl or succumbed to their wounds. The final death toll among the protestors was recorded at 237, though several individuals remained unaccounted for following the conflict.

The Masters Council: A handful sustained minor injuries, including scrapes and burns from friendly fire. Some tea and coffee were spilled in the break room.

Aftermath

The Battle of Waldomere concluded in a decisive victory for the Masters Council. The protestors, though severely demoralised and humiliated, did not abandon their grievances. The deep-seated resentment toward the Masters Council remained, simmering beneath the surface.

In time, these frustrations were channelled more peacefully, culminating in the formation of the political party *Reform WA*, led once again by the elusive "Mr. Goblinhouse," whose true identity, Widdle Frunkut, had never been revealed. Though the party was initially viewed as little more than another of Frunkut's cunning ploys to stir anti-Council sentiment, it resonated with the disenfranchised. What began as a populist movement soon gained genuine traction, becoming a legitimate political force. Reform WA ultimately helped form a short-lived coalition government, giving voice to those who had felt oppressed under the Masters' rule.

Though this coalition would not endure, the aftermath of the Battle of Waldomere marked a significant shift in Waldonian politics, as it highlighted the growing divide between the ruling elite and the disillusioned masses.