Betty, Dumpy & Missy

The following takes place following: Weapons Quest

The Master eventually makes it back to base. The guards inspect the motorcar but soon let them pass. The Master gets out and opens the back of the dumpster; Goblin Slayer rolls out in a crumpled heap onto the ground. Revy stumbles out of the car and throws up everywhere.

Master Devlin: Do we have a doctor here?

Dr. Beverly Crusher rushes over.

Widdle Frunkut comes out of the mansion after hearing the commotion. WF is delighted to see his motorcar and his dumpster returned, completely unfazed by his concussed fiancée vomiting everywhere or his best soldier passed out on the ground.

Waldo strokes the motorcar.

wF: Excellent work, Danny! You've rescued my old Betty... And old Dumpy too! Our humble abode. Look, Mr. Konrad. It's the dumpster!

Mr. Konrad: Yes, my lord.

The Master kicks the dumpster and the sides fall off. All the weapons spill out.

wF: Hmm. A little scuffed, but no matter... Mr. Konrad. We won't be needing the mansion anymore now that we has our old house back... Burn it down.

Mr. Konrad: Umm. My lord? It houses half our army.

wF: Nonsense. Plenty of room in Dumpy.

Master Devlin: Rescind that order, Mr. Konrad. Waldo, don't be an arse... I’ll be sleeping in the house and will be taking the master bedroom. End of story.

wF: Ooh, look at Mr. Fancy Pants. Too good for a dumpster.

Master Devlin: Just be grateful I returned your stolen car. And dumpster.

wF: We is, of course!

Master Devlin: Mr. Konrad, we will turn the main lounge into the war room.

Waldo finally notices Dr. Crusher having Revy taken to the infirmary.

wF: What have you done to my Rebecca? She's all scratched and pukey. Did you fart on her??

Master Devlin: She came close to a kamikaze skunk. Suicide bomb.

wF: Oh dear... "Controlled detonation"?

Master Devlin: Indeed.

wF: Are her boobies still intact?? They're not damaged, are they??

Master Devlin: No. Just shell-shocked. A couple days in the infirmary and she’ll be fine.

wF: Ah, thank Nilbog for that.

Master Devlin: ...

wF: What about him?

Waldo points to Goblin Slayer, slumped against the car.

Master Devlin: Goblin Slayer is carrying too many weapons. We need to unload him.

wF: He's such a stubborn man. Give him a potion of strength.

Master Devlin: I believe he already took one not long ago. Get some boys to drag him to the infirmary. He needs sleep.

wF: Yes, yes. Fine, fine. Whatever... Mr. Konrad, make it so...

Master Devlin: Well, if you don’t mind, I’ll have Mr. Konrad help set up a war room.

wF: Take Wyndam-Pryce instead.

Master Devlin: Fine.

wF: Good. He needs a good talking to anyway. Won’t stop asking for stuff. Thinks I'm made of money.

Master Devlin: Anyway, 0800 hours tomorrow we have our first war briefing. Will you be attending?

wF: 8 a.m.? Good lord, man.

Master Devlin: Are you really that pathetic? Oh wait, don’t answer that.

wF: Need I remind you that you are a guest here. It's Waldo's head up there next to the pepper steak, and don't you forget it...

Waldo points to the burning effigy of Reg in bird form down on the main lawn with the cultists chanting around it.

Master Devlin: Need I remind you, I have returned your home? And prized motorcar.

wF: Yes, yes, but that doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful to us.

Master Devlin: I am your Master.

wF: You left! You were on suspension after the council reprimanded you.

Master Devlin: No, that was ages ago, before I took Travers on holiday... This most recent one was a business trip. Anyway, this matters not. We have more urgent matters to attend to...

wF: Indeed. Such as your proposal to have a meeting at an ungodly hour...

Master Devlin: Fine. You sleep in with your harem. I will address the war room without you.

wF: Yes, yes. Fine.

Waldo turns his attention back to his car. Suddenly, a woman's voice speaks behind them.

Woman: Master Devlin...

The Master turns.

Master Devlin: Yes?

Woman: I overheard you saying you wanted to create a war room?

Master Devlin: That’s right.

Woman: Well, it’s just that we already have one. In the basement. Well, a bunker actually. Unfortunately, our Lord doesn’t seem interested no matter how much I encourage a more strategic approach.

Master Devlin: I see... Who are you?

Woman: Oh, sorry... I'm Captain Katsuragi. Misato... Katsuragi.

Master Devlin: Ah. Nice to meet you, Captain...

wF: Huh? Ah yes, Pizza, this is Missy... our fiancée. Missy, pizza man... It’s about time you met.

Master Devlin: Of course... Well Captain, are you happy to meet at 8 a.m.?

Misato: Uh, yes! Yes, absolutely...

wF: Missy is always going on about her war room and operations and such. Quite tiresome.

Master Devlin: Speaking of tired, you look tired, Wally. Time for your nap, don’t you think?

wF: Preposterous. It's only... What time is it anyway?

Master Devlin: About 20:30? I’m sure the Captain can bring me up to date on the war effort.

wF: Excuse me?? You will not date my fiancée! Get your own wahmens. This one belongs to us's. Waldo property. Understand?

The Captain groans and rolls her eyes.

Master Devlin: For fuck’s sake, Waldo... Oh, nevermind. Here...

The Master tosses a stack of cash into the dumpster.

wF: Oooh, money!

Waldo dives into the dumpster after it.

Master Devlin: Well, Captain. Shall we?

Season 5 continues in Creative Differences