The Race Begins

The following takes place following: Traps, Trebuchets and National Treasures

There’s a knock at the door. The Master, being closest, goes to answer and finds Mr Boothe standing in the doorway, cap in hand.

Mr Boothe: Oh… uh, Master Devlin, sir. Good day to you. I was looking for Mr Travers…

Travers(from inside): Oh, it’s you, Mr Boothe… What do you want?

Mr Boothe: Well, sir, I, uh, heard you were running for mayor, and I wondered if I could be of some assistance to you again?

Travers: Hmph. I’m not sure Mrs Travers would like that. You gave her an awful fright with that kangaroo court stunt...

Master Devlin: Yes, I agree. That was an awful fucking circus you put on, Mr Boothe.

Mr Boothe: I know, sirs… and I feel terrible about that, I really do. I don’t know what came over me. It was just… a moment of madness.

Travers: Yes, well. I suppose we all have those on occasion… What do you think, Master Devlin? Does Mr Boothe have a shot at redemption?

Master Devlin: Hmm. Well, I reckon there are two things you can do to redeem yourself. Complete these, and then we’ll talk. One: Make peace with Mrs Travers and get her blessing. Two: If you look outside, you’ll see Widdle Frunkut’s handiwork on my office. Organise the repairs and renovations.

Mr Boothe glances over his shoulder at the damage to the Council building, then turns back.

Mr Boothe: Thank you very much, sirs! Not to worry, I’ll get to it right away!

He starts to leave, then pauses.

Mr Boothe: Oh, by the way… there’s a rumour going ‘round that Mr Barry Scott also intends to run for mayor. Talk of "cleaning up this town." Apparently he already has the entire Witherfield vote behind him.

Master Devlin: I’d heard that, actually. Barry would be a strong candidate. You might be in for a fight there, Travers. He’s got a near-infinite supply of Cillit Bang on him. If you speak out of turn during a debate, expect to get sprayed. Also, he’s a friend of Guthrie Govan, which means he’s basically guaranteed the Warburton vote.

Travers quietly fumes. Then suddenly erupts.

Travers: This is outrageous! Who the hell does he think he is?! Throwing his hat in at the eleventh hour!? It’s my turn! Inconceivable! Unacceptable! Travers is supposed to run unopposed!

Master Devlin: I’ve also heard — and I might be wrong — that despite her supposed death, Gale Platt has returned… as Barry’s running mate.

Travers: Ha! The pill-popper?! Well, perhaps that works in our favour… Still! This is completely out of turn! Perhaps… perhaps you could persuade them not to run, Master Devlin?

Master Devlin: Hrmm...

Travers: And Mr Boothe — once you’ve taken care of your redemption tasks, I want you to dig. See if you can find some dirt on Mr Scott.

Mr Boothe: Yes sir!

Travers: Dismissed.

Mr Boothe exits.

Travers pulls out a folded map of Widdlington and sticks it to the living room wall using his own... natural goblin adhesive. The Master raises a curious eyebrow. Travers begins scribbling illegible goblin glyphs on it while deep in thought.

Travers: How’d you like to be my running mate, Master Devlin? I was thinking of asking Widdle Frunkut, but he’s too unpredictable. And I can never find him, despite your preposterous claims. Besides, Deputy Mayor Devlin has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Master Devlin: What about Mr Konrad? Where’s he these days?

Travers: He’s busy. Running errands. Anyway, I think you’d be a great Deputy Mayor. Come on…

Master Devlin: I don’t know if I’d be suited to that role. How about I be your Chief of Staff? Also spin doctor. Given your uncontrollable behaviour, you’re a scandal waiting to happen. You’ll need a very good spin doctor.

Travers: Fine, fine. You can be my Chief of Staff and spin doctor then. Frankly, you can have whatever position you want. And yes, I imagine you’ll be sweeping up after all sorts of accusations… completely baseless and unfounded, of course.

Master Devlin: Of course. Fine. But I must warn you: I’m not going to be nice. Given your track record, you will make my life hell with your sleazy behaviour and corruption.

Travers: Very well. I understand. You have my permission to speak out of turn if it's for the good of the campaign. But you might have to swallow your pride and play nice with the press — especially the Waldopolis Chronicle. Try not to antagonise them. Though, I understand Toby Hunter is dead again anyway, so that's something at least. We can probably count on The Wallywood Times now, given last season's events... The Master skin visibly darkens into a darker shade of purple. Something Malcolm Tucker-esque stirs in his eyes. A muscle twitches in his jaw.

Travers: As for districts, we should concentrate on Widdecombe, Walver Lake and West Widdlington. Waldobury and Wallywood already love Travers! Mostly. Widdecombe’s been living under the oppression of that evil bird… we must show them a new way. What’s the current state of von Hildendorf and the other former warlords?

Master Devlin: Let’s see. Hildendorf still essentially runs Waldeo Drive and West Widdlington. She's civil — but don’t count on her vote or cooperation. As I said, Guthrie will most likely side with Barry Scott. Goldenstein hates us — we won’t be getting that vote. No support from the bankers. I understand Humungus and his crew have left the city. Mr Teeth of Walver Lake… not sure, but he seemed to like you.

Travers: Mr Teeth is a gangster. A literal loan shark. I'd rather avoid that association.

Master Devlin: Very well. On the plus side, Dr Larry Fraser should be an easy win. He’ll help, especially with the minority vote.

Travers: Well, that’s something.

Master Devlin: Also… Sayuki Sing Kang claims half your estate and will do whatever she can to bring you down.

Travers: How much influence do they all still have? Are they still “warlords” or what?

Master Devlin: It’s diminished. But they still hold sway. Think of them more as mob bosses now — various levels of power and influence.

Travers: I see...

Master Devlin: So, the key is trying to win over the Van Der Beak territories. They don’t know much about you — just that speech you gave and your… embarrassing attempt to offer legal representation to the enemy on Liberation Day.

Travers: Hmm. Then perhaps we should downplay the lawyer angle. Some folks don’t like lawyers for some reason. How about this: “Vote Harris Travers — War Hero, Liberator, Philanthropist, National Treasure. Proud owner of the finest moustache in Waldonia.”

Master Devlin: Fine. But be careful how you portray yourself. People will start scrutinising your credentials. Frankly, the only accurate thing on that banner across the street is your name. The journalists will come for you — so we need to be smarter. So… where would you like to start?

Travers: Um… I dunno. I suppose we need campaign funds. Recruits. Volunteers to go door to door — that sort of thing.

To be honest, I’m not really sure what to do next. I didn’t expect to actually have to fight a campaign. I was hoping the editor would just name me mayor and be done with it...

No matter! We're worrying out of turn! I don’t care about rumours. Mark my words — Barry Scott will never run for mayor!

Travers turns on the TV.

Travers: Now let’s see what news we can take advantage of...

Travers: ...Oh.

Season 6 continues in Debate Night