Travers’ Undoing

The following takes place following: Manumit

THE END OF TYRANT TRAVERS?

By Emily Worthington, Widdlington Post

“Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”

As reports emerge detailing the liberation of Emperor Travers’ secret gold-mining labour camps, the destruction of his towering golden statue, and the collapse of his elite guard—not to mention the press regaining its voice—an unexpected image adds insult to injury: his prized Waldobeast, seen peddling knock-off wares on the street.

Is this the final unraveling of Travers’ tyrannical reign over Waldonia?

In a defiant statement, Emperor Travers dismissed the reports as “fake news” orchestrated by the Masters Council.

But are these the words of a leader in control—or the last gasp of a desperate despot?

****

Travers slams the newspaper down on his desk.

Travers: Those MOTHERFUCKERS!

Mr Konrad: Sir? Perhaps it’s time you try and… negotiate with Master Devlin and the council?

Travers: 😠 No, Kyle. You are speaking out of turn. I’m the Ed-damn Emperor—and a national treasure. This is completely out of turn!

Travers tosses a paperweight at Mr Konrad’s head. He whimpers.

Travers: How can you live with yourself, Kyle?

Mr Konrad: I don’t know, sir…

Travers: WALDO? Get in here.

The Waldobeast crashes through Travers’ recently repaired windows.

Travers: What is this I hear about you peddling wares on the street like a common peasant?

wB: I don’t know. We was bored, sir.

Travers: I need you to go firebomb the Masters Council.

wB: Hmmmm. Nah!

Travers: You're out of turn, Wally! You will do as your Emperor commands.

wB: Nope!

Travers: Why not??

wB: Don't want to...

Travers: But... you love destruction!?

wB: Yeah but we also love the Stan man... Also our home and all our stuffs is there... If we burn down the Pasta's prize institution, he'll leave again. We don't want that, do we?

Travers: Nooo... I guess not... But he must learn!

wB: Learn what?

Travers: Well... he has behaved completely out of turn! He's trying to humiliate me! This will not stand.

wB: The fact of the matter is, Travey... You're out of control! You've lost your mind. And that's coming from Wiffuhuh...

Ed: He's right, you know.

Ed walks in through the broken window.

Travers drops to his knees.

wB: Oh hi, Ed!

Ed: Hey Wally... So Travers... It seems you've been a very naughty little goblin. What have you done to my realm?

Travers: Well... I... uh... only that which you commanded me to, my Lord!? You told me to do all of this! This was your idea!

Unable to see Ed, Mr Konrad looks at Travers and the Waldobeast, completely confused.

Mr Konrad (muttering): Good Lord... They really are insane...

Ed: Details... That was Past Ed. Present Ed is bored with this whole thing. I hope you had fun as dictator, Travers, because we're putting an end to it now. My associate is wrapping this whole arc as we speak.

Ed checks his watch.

Ed: In fact, here we go now... In three, two, one...

Nothing happens. Everyone looks around for a few seconds.

Ed checks to see if his watch is working.

All of a sudden, there is a glow around Waldobeast and a flash of light which temporarily blinds Travers and Mr Konrad. As their vision returns, they see Waldo has returned to his normal form.

wF: Oh swell. We is goblin again, haha!

Waldo struts and walks out the door.

Travers is outraged at the audacity—but also at the realisation that his prized Waldobeast is no more.

Travers: This isn't fair... This is all out of turn...

Ed: Noooo, MISTER Travers... It is you who is speaking out of turn. The writer's room has already decided that this is the direction we’re going. You're going to be asked to resign. So if you can make your apologies and step down within the next few days, that’d be great. You can even pretend it was your idea.

Travers: But...

Ed: No. The decision is final! Now that'll be enough out of you.

Travers sighs.

Travers: Yes, sir. I mean, your holiness.

Ed vanishes and Travers sinks into his chair, glum.

Travers: This sucks, Kyle... Speaking of which, I could really use an oil change about now to relieve this stress... Go fetch one of the girls...Kyle??

He looks around and realises that Mr Konrad has also left.

Travers: KYLE!!! 😡

Season 7 continues in A National Embarrassment