The Floppy Menace

The following takes place following: Section 37

The Computer Lab, Masters Council — Sep 12, 2024, 16:03

The Master takes Travers and his floppy disk to the basement of the Masters Council computer lab. Various old computers are set up, connected to CRT monitors. It’s like a museum — everything from an Apple II to a VIC-20.

Travers hops up onto one of the long desks, walking past the array of machines.

Travers: "How about that one! I like it. It's neat and compact, yet handsome, just like Travers."

Master Devlin: "No, Travers. That’s a ZX Spectrum. I think we should try something a little more recent."

Travers: "Hmm… Hey, what about this one!? An… Amiga 600? I’ve heard of that!"

Without waiting for approval, Travers jams the floppy disk into the drive. After a few seconds, the Amiga starts to emit smoke.

Master Devlin:"Oh dear."

He quickly ejects the disk in an attempt to save it.

Master Devlin:"Let’s try something else, shall we?"

The Master moves to a nearby Amiga 1200, pops the disk in, and hits Ctrl+Alt+Del. The machine reboots and starts to run.

The screen turns green, and it becomes apparent it’s running a version of WAL-DOS — a twisted, modified version of the Amiga Workbench that the Master has encountered before. The Amiga groans loudly. Master Devlin tries to input commands, but it seems locked in a cycle of pulsating, haunting imagery.

Master Devlin:"Oh dear."

Travers: "What’s taking so long?? We need that evidence!"

After a few moments, the other computers all turn on and display the same twisted operating system featuring Waldo’s mischievous smirk.

A frantic Master Clerk runs down into the basement.

Master Clerk: "Master Devlin? Good, you’re here… It’s the computer system in the lab, sir. It’s gone haywire!"

Master Devlin:"WHAT?? Which one?"

Master Clerk: "All of them! It’s not just upstairs in the library, either. We’re getting reports of computers all over campus being affected… just like this!"

He points to the WAL-DOS screen.

Master Devlin:"It must have come from this disk… But I don’t understand. None of these computers are connected to the network. Oh well. Let this be a lesson: never, ever accept a floppy disk from Widdle Frunkut..."

The Master heads over to a bookshelf and pulls out a book containing various floppy disks, cassette tapes, CDs, and DVDs.

He sits down at the Amiga 1200 and runs the program.

Master Devlin:"This is not the first time Waldo has done this. For that reason, we keep emergency WAL-DOS scrubbers around campus."

Waldo’s face begins to melt off the screen. The Amiga reboots and returns to normal. The other computers follow suit.

Master Devlin:"That should take care of the computers across campus. If not, I have more anti-Waldo software to distribute."

Travers: "I suppose maybe this isn’t the best time… but, uh, I just remembered, I’m pretty sure I also copied the evidence onto the porn collection flash drive too..."

Master Devlin:"Excuse me?"

****

The Waldopolis Chronicle — Sep 12, 2024, 17:00

Travers searches through the flash drive on Ermintrude’s laptop — the one she brought from home after all the office computers were seized by the WBI. The Master sits nearby, quietly fuming over the wasteful and almost disastrous trip to the Council Computer Lab.

Travers: “Aha! Success! Here it is! See? I told you, Master Devlin. It’s here! All of it.”

Master Devlin:“Swell.”

Travers: “You don’t seem too pleased… Are you still mad?”

Master Devlin:“Yes, Travers. Your foolishness knows no bounds. We could’ve had an article online hours ago, but you insisted on waiting.”

Travers: “Travers has a lot on his mind. They just seized his priceless porn collection, for crying out loud. Cut a goblin some slack… Frankly it’s not even my fault. My instinct was to publish right away too but the Co-Editor wanted it this way. I think he likes to make me look foolish...”

Master Devlin:“Whatever… Oh, and Ermintrude — I’d advise you to discard that computer. I’ll buy you a new one. Who knows what kind of viruses that flash drive’s just infected it with…”

Travers: “Anyway, there’s no point crying over what we could’ve or should’ve done. The fact of the matter is, we have the information we need to go to print in the morning.”

Master Devlin:“With what? They took everything.”

Travers: “I’ve already thought of that. It’s a little unconventional, but with a little help, I’ll see our headlines in the morning after all!”

Travers darts out of the office, clutching the laptop and flash drive, with Ermintrude following close behind.

The Master exhales slowly, moves behind Travers’ desk, and lifts the portrait of Queen Mayuri from the wall. He sets it carefully on the floor, then drives his fist through a hollow section of the plaster. Reaching inside, he retrieves a small, gleaming Fabergé egg. He strokes it thoughtfully for a moment before returning it to its hiding place and rehanging the portrait.

The Waldoverse continues in A Government Out of Turn