Widdle Frunkut

Overview

Widdle Frunkut, better known as Waldo, is a very old, very mad and mischievous little goblin from Widdlington and is the eponym of The Waldoverse.

History and Background

Waldo’s origins are enigmatic, with evidence suggesting he could be over 1,500 years old. Some historians even speculate that Waldo might be the same entity as Waldus Frunkus, a Roman statesman and lawyer during the late Republic who later became an infamous underworld figure in Londinium under the Roman Empire. Aside from the similarity in name, descriptions of Frunkus — unnaturally old yet childlike in manner, and prone to bizarre traits — closely resemble Widdle Frunkut. Cicero famously described Frunkus in 54 BC as “one of the most crooked scoundrels I have ever encountered.”

Frunkus was also known for his unusual appearance: “Short as a dwarf, with large pointy ears, and the countenance of a madman, not to mention his sickly Britannic complexion,” wrote the scholar Devlinicus Fartimus. Frunkus’s last recorded sighting was in 177 AD, when he was thrown over Hadrian’s Wall into Caledonia after being banished by Emperor Marcus Aurelius for being a “menace to Pax Romana.” While it is impossible to definitively confirm Waldo’s true identity, the similarities suggest a possible connection, though this remains a matter of scholarly debate.

Throughout history, references to a similar figure have appeared in various writings and illustrations, suggesting a long and notorious presence across different cultures. Many medieval manuscripts and Renaissance artworks, in particular, depict a small, mischievous figure with exaggerated features and a penchant for chaos. In these accounts, he is described as a trickster who disrupted both noble and common lives alike, often engaging in elaborate schemes and deceitful activities.

Physical Description

Waldo is a diminutive figure with a goblin-like appearance, though several features deviate from traditional depictions. Standing at just 2'5" at rest (though he can change size at will), he has a slim build and a large head with three distinctive hairs on an otherwise bald scalp. His big pointy ears, sharp teeth with notable fangs, and disproportionately large claws contribute to his menacing look. Notably, he has no visible nose, which gives his face an alien like appearance. Waldo’s amphibious skin, often slick with slime, adds to his perpetually unkempt visage. Despite his typical ragged attire, Waldo often dons various disguises, including smart suits, tracksuits, and elaborate costumes complete with wigs and fake facial hair.

Personality

Waldo’s personality is a chaotic blend of contradictions, driven by a fractured mind and Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). He alternates between being a mischievous trickster who delights in minor mayhem and a homicidal maniac capable of extreme violence. His mental instability is compounded by what appears to be a malfunctioning brain, likened to a faulty computer running on an unreliable operating system known as WALD OS, resulting in frequent memory lapses, crashes and unpredictable behavior.

Waldo’s relationships reflect his erratic nature. He is obsessively fixated on Master Devlin, whom he torments while simultaneously considering his best friend. His romantic life is equally chaotic; although he has been married three times, Waldo is perpetually engaged, showing more interest in the act of engagement than in any genuine romantic connection. Notably, despite his frequent engagements, Waldo exhibits little to no interest in sex.

Hobbies and Interests

Waldo’s interests are as diverse and unpredictable as his fragmented mind. He derives perverse pleasure from inciting witch hunts and moral panics, driven solely by his own amusement. His criminal record is both extensive and disturbing, marked by numerous acts of mass murder that he often executes personally. Whether poisoning entire villages or resorting to more violent methods, Waldo revels in the act of killing, though he fiercely rejects the label of "murderer." To him, humans are not equals but prey—creatures to be hunted and toyed with for his amusement. His bloodlust is matched only by his love for chaos, which he spreads through his radio broadcasts, provocative disguises, and dangerous Goblin Brand (GB) wares.

As a shrewd merchant, Waldo is notorious for peddling dubious GB goods and exotic animals from his pet store, using these ventures to further his chaotic schemes. His passion for spreading his warped ideology is evident in his various criminal enterprises.

Waldo’s artistic side shines through in his love for the harpsichord and piano, and he occasionally ventures into visual art. Additionally, he operates a pirate radio station, WFPR, where he broadcasts old-school electro hip hop. In a curious twist, he sometimes assumes the guise of The Hoach, a bizarre superhero alter ego who fights crime according to his own warped sense of justice.

Abilities and Traits

• Invulnerability: Waldo is remarkably resistant to conventional harm. He can liquefy to avoid injury and slip through tight spaces with ease.
• Size Manipulation: He can alter his size, often shrinking to navigate confined areas.
• Super Strength: Though his strength was reduced by a sorcerer he crossed in the 1800s, Waldo can still summon substantial power during moments of intense frenzy.
• Master of Disguise: Waldo is adept at transformation, capable of assuming various animal forms and adopting numerous human disguises with the aid of costumes and makeup.
• Manipulation: His skill in psychological manipulation is exceptional, enabling him to incite witch hunts, moral panics, and other forms of societal chaos.
• Mad Inventor: As a prolific inventor, Waldo creates dangerous and ingenious contraptions and hybrid creatures in his lab, reflecting his twisted genius.

Waldo is generally invulnerable to most types of physical attacks, making him a formidable and resilient creature. His unique goblin physiology allows him to shrug off damage that would incapacitate or destroy most beings. However, despite his near-invulnerability, there is one notable exception: Gobelinus Repellent, better known as "Goblin Away Spray." This specially concocted repellent has been proven effective at keeping Waldo at bay, neutralizing his usual defenses and forcing him to retreat. The spray, often employed by those familiar with Waldo's chaotic tendencies, is one of the few tools capable of giving his adversaries a fighting chance.

Significant Relationships:

• Master Devlin: Assigned by the Council to be Waldo's master in 1891, Master Devlin has served as Waldo’s long-suffering hetero-life mate and best friend. The two are virtually inseparable, with Waldo often referring to Devlin as his "hobby." Despite the havoc Waldo wreaks, Master Devlin has dedicated himself to mitigating the damage caused by his troublesome companion, often at great personal expense to his own life and career. Their complex relationship blends camaraderie and frustration, with Devlin persistently trying to temper Waldo’s chaos.
• Harris Travers: Initially an alternate personality of Waldo’s, Harris Travers now exists independently thanks to magical intervention. Travers is both a friend and competitor to Waldo, and like Waldo, considers Master Devlin his closest confidant. Despite their similarities in appearance—virtually identical except for hair and mustache—the two goblins are polar opposites in personality. Their relationship is marked by a mixture of rivalry and camaraderie, each attempting to outdo the other while maintaining a peculiar sense of mutual respect.
• Sayuki Waldo: Waldo’s first wife, Sayuki, hails from Nagasaki, Japan. Once a figure of grace and tradition, her mind became warped by Western influences, leading her down a path of malevolence. Her transformation into a bizarre and evil persona significantly impacted Waldo’s life, setting the stage for his subsequent tumultuous relationships.
• Tess von Hildendorf: Waldo’s second wife, Tess, is a snooty, gold-digging penguin. Her marriage to Waldo was marked by her pursuit of wealth and status, often clashing with Waldo’s chaotic tendencies. Tess’s opportunistic nature and quest for material gain added another layer of complexity to Waldo’s already complicated life.
• Mayuri Shiina: Mayuri Shiina, Waldo’s third wife, is the kind-hearted granddaughter of Sayuki Waldo. Known for her sweet and patient demeanor, Mayuri represented a stark contrast to Waldo’s chaotic and malevolent ways. Her time with Waldo was marked by her enduring kindness amidst turmoil. After their separation, she became the beloved Queen of Waldonia.
• Stuart Devlin: Hybrid goblin-dragon and son of Master Devlin and Widdle Frunkut.

Notable Former Fiancés

Waldo has been engaged many times. Some of the most notable fiancés include:

• Ermintrude Maine-Anjou
• Annika "Seven of Nine" Hansen
• Rebecca "Revy" Lee
• Dr. Linda Shawn

Skunkbreeds

Waldo’s hybrid skunk creations, known as Skunkbreeds, serve as his minions and occasional pawns. Notable Skunkbreeds include:

• Skunk I (Skunk P.I.): The original Skunkbreed, known for his investigative antics.
• Skunk V: Notorious for going insane, he shot Waldo and absconded with Sayuki.
• Skunk VI: The most famous and influential of the Skunkbreeds, leading the Alt-Front with notable impact.

Known Aliases

Throughout history, Waldo has gone by many aliases, including:

• Basil Widdlington Fortesque
• Franklin J. Hoobert Esq.
• Count Waldo von Sloneker
• Cotsworth Abigail III
• Bogdan Stefanović
• Colonel Fitzwaldo Bartholomew LeDoux
• Rémy LeDoux
Harold "Harry" Goblinhouse
• Nigel Goblintime
• Lieutenant Waldo aka Lt. Walumbo
• Miguel Francisco Sanchez
• Francisco Alejandro González aka "Cuban Waldo"
• John Arthur Frank
• Frunkyt Frankovich Volkov
• Frünkhut der Kobold
• Ivar The Boneless (suspected)
• Waldus Frunkus (suspected)

Current Status

Waldo remains an enigmatic and unpredictable figure, constantly shifting between his various personas and leaving a trail of chaos wherever he goes. Whether acting as a villain, an anti-hero, or something in between, his influence is felt in bizarre and terrifying ways. Despite his numerous crimes and violent acts, Waldo is notoriously difficult to capture or contain, evading society’s attempts to control him with unsettling ease.

Though his globe-trotting days have largely ceased, Waldo has chosen to settle in the town of Widdlington, Waldonia—a place as eccentric and chaotic as he is. To mitigate the damage caused by Waldo’s unpredictable nature, Master Devlin and the Council work diligently to channel his chaos and minimize its impact. While they have been unable to fully contain him, their efforts aim to manage and direct the mayhem he creates, striving to prevent it from spiraling out of control.